Saturday, January 1, 2022

A Candid Guide to Childbirth: The Truth About Having A Baby

Hey, courageous readers! If you're not afraid of a little real talk, buckle up because we're diving into the untold truths of childbirth. Warning: it's not your average bedtime story. So, if you're faint of heart, consider this your exit pass.

Expect the Unexpected Blood Show:
Everyone skirts around it, but let’s lay it out there – there will be blood. Not just any blood, but clots. Think fruit-sized. Lemons, limes, kiwis – you get the idea. It might look like your insides are staging a grand escape, but fear not. It’s normal. Consider yourself forewarned.

Unleash the Uncontrollable:
Brace yourself for a symphony of bodily mayhem. Puking? Check. Teeth chattering? Double-check. Alternating between freezing and burning up? Absolutely. Post-birth contractions that rival the ones before? You bet. The birthing journey kicks off with surprises; I found myself introducing my newborn to the world with a side of nausea. Talk about a memorable entrance!

Hospital Stay Reality Check:
Forget the notion of peaceful post-birth recovery. The hospital stay is a whirlwind of examinations, visitors, and zero moments of silence. Rest? A myth. Even with a supposed "quiet time," you're signing papers, answering questions, and getting poked and prodded. Sleep is a luxury. Trust me; it's a wild ride.

Nurses: Unsung Heroes and Stomach Poke Masters:
Nurses will become your intimate companions, checking stitches, poking your belly, and discussing bowel movements like it's an art form. Don't be surprised if they become your saviors. Shoutout to those nurses who, upon hearing my hunger woes, delivered a treasure trove of takeout menus. Absolute angels!

The Occasional Scare:
Oxygen masks, mysterious monitors – childbirth has its suspenseful moments. I found myself hooked up to machines, worried we were starring in a medical drama. Little did I know, these experiences were all part of the norm in the labor and delivery ward.

Embrace the Awesome Chaos:
Amidst the chaos, find the awesomeness. Childbirth is nothing short of miraculous. With Tater, fear held me captive, but with Bean, I was present. I even cut the cord! Feeling your body do its thing, something primal and beyond your control, is bizarrely exhilarating. Pain, yes. Suckiness, absolutely. But April 24, 2006, and May 30, 2010 – hands down, the two best days of my life.

So, here's to the messy, unfiltered truth of childbirth – it's wild, it's crazy, but it's undeniably extraordinary. Embrace it, remember it, and relish in the sheer wonder of bringing life into this world.


  1. What a fun post! It has been almost 36 years since I had my last baby. Yes, back in the olden days before epidurals ultrsounds and monitors. When you were shaved stem to stern and that awful enema given the minute you arrived at the hospital in labor. Yep, those were the good 'ole days!

  2. Hey - fellow MomDotter here. This post is SO true. I had no idea what was going to happen when I got prego - wish I had read this 12 years ago LOL I havent been "right" since LOL

  3. Lol…there is lots more no one told me either. Why so secretive??

  4. yeah pretty much pregnancy blows.


  5. They also don't give out instruction manuals at the end. They just pop the baby in your arms and say "Bye!"


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