Notes From The Parking Lot

I'm sitting in my car, in the parking lot across from the arena. I think the cost to park here was $27.00. Outrageous, but I paid it anyway. I want him to know where I am when the show is over, and this was the closest place I could find to park that has a direct sidewalk from the exit door. Technically, he has my Life360, so he could track me down even if I parked a mile away, but why risk it?

There's half of a personal pizza in a greasy box on the dash. I'm gonna be here a couple more hours, so I'll finish it off before I get to head back home. There's a spiral notebook beside me- I'm trying to make a grocery list, but I can't focus. My Kindle is on the seat next to me. I was going to use this time to catch up on a great book since I always complain about never having time, but I'm not doing that either. I can hear the music seeping out from the walls of the arena across the street. My baby is in there, him and 25,000 other people. I wonder, is anyone else's mom doing the same thing as me tonight?

We're in such a weird place, this boy and me. Right on the edge of adulthood, but not quite there just yet. His after-school job, which works him like a 40-year-old father of three, supplies him with more than enough money to buy these concert tickets to see his favorite rapper. But, I was the one who bought these tickets. All the way up in the nosebleed section, and still, way more than I would ever pay for concert tickets for myself. He didn't even ask to go to the concert, and if he didn't waste all his money on stupid 17-year-old crap, he could have easily gotten floor seats if he wanted to come.

But no, I got the tickets for him, and gave them to him out of nowhere. Christmas is in 23 days; they would have made a great gift. But, no, I just wanted him to get to come here. He's always stressed, always mad, always quiet. Around me, anyway. Not to his friends or his coworkers, who I guess are one and the same these days. I just wanted to make him happy. Like the old days, when he would get a toy from the cheap toy aisle after his doctor's appointment, or a 50 cent McDonald's ice cream cone when he got a shot.

He doesn't have a license yet, so I had to drive him here. Even if he did have a license, and a car, I wouldn't let him drive in this stupid downtown traffic anyway. We live an hour away, so it's pointless for me to go home and come back. I guess I could go shopping, but I don't want to be that far away from him. Just in case. So I sit.

Motherhood used to be so much about doing. Now it seems to be just about sitting. Sitting here, now. Sitting in the parking lot at his job. Sitting in the driveways of friends' houses, or the parking lot of the movies. Sitting in the kitchen, waiting for him to get home. It's almost like my active participation in this raising a boy task is over. I never dreamed there would be so much sitting.

I thought this part of parenting would be when it got easy. They don't need you so much anymore, and your presence most of the time is just a technicality. You have to be there to do the driving, sign the paper, or pay the fee. But other than that, you aren't really needed. And a lot of the time, it doesn't feel like you're really wanted either. It's a whole different struggle, one that I don't have any flowery words of wisdom to write down here about, nothing to pass on to you to guide you through it.

For now, I'm just going to continue to sit. Wherever and whenever I can, I will be here, sitting and waiting for my boy.

Flip Out Mama: The Evolution of The Blog, and The Blogger- Where We Go In 2024.

 You guys. I started this blog thirteen, almost fourteen years ago. I cannot even believe that it has been that long. When I first started blogging, my oldest son was only four, and I was pregnant with my baby boy. If I'm being completely honest, my blog started during a time of immense turmoil in my life. My mom had been dead for right about ten years, and my dad for about six years. I was in a horrible place in my life, relationship-wise, financially, even the home we physically lived in was falling apart, just like my heart. 

I was yearning for something, some sort of outreach, some connection with the outside world, to help me realize that I wasn't actually alone. When I think about that time in my life, it breaks my heart for the girl that I was back then. I was really incredibly lost and I really just needed someone to save me. It would take me almost a decade to come to the realization that no one was coming, and that I would have to find a way to save myself. 

Now, here I am, many years later. My oldest son is a senior in high school, getting ready to graduate and turn 18 in just a few months. My baby boy, the one that was in my belly when I started this blog, is turning 14 this year, and is taller than me. I cannot believe how far the three of us have come in this life. 

This blog, which started out as a way for me to share my life and connect with people and brands all over the world, has also changed a lot over the years. Gone are my days of blogging about toddlers who wouldn't sleep, and sharing the latest and greatest Christmas toys with you guys.

I thought for a long time about the possibility of shutting down my blog, but I just can't do it. I honestly feel like it is another one of my kids.. I have carried it around with me just like those two little boys, through health issues, divorce, moves, failures and triumphs. Even if there have been times where this blog hasn't been at the top of my list of things to do, I always come back to it. Writing has always been my true passion, and hopefully now that my boys are older, and my life is in a more stable place, I can get back to what I love. 

Parenting teenagers, obviously, is going to be an ongoing topic for this blog. My boys will always be at the top of any priority list, and I'll continue to share with you guys going forward, about parenting teens, who are getting ready to fly the nest and go out into the world. As my boys become adults, I'll continue to blog about what it is like to parent adult children, which makes me shiver to think about- what a scary fucking thought! 

Also, I'm going to continue to blog about a topic that is important to me, but that I have been so hesitant to write about in the past. Parenting without parents, growing up without parents, loss, grief, all of the very big and deep and horrible feelings that come along with losing my parents before the age of 18. I know I am not the only person in the world who is dealing with this, even people whose parents are alive but not in their lives, I'm sure the feelings there are similar as well. I know how much it would have been to me to be able to find similar content when I was going through such a rough time in my younger years. 

So, my dear friends who have been along for this very long and rough ride, I appreciate you. New friends, I'm so glad you're here. Brands, I'm still happy to hear from you and work with you- reach out anytime! I am excited to see what the future holds for us! Happy holidays to all of you and wishing you a wonderful New Year! 

Best Heating and Air Repair In Stanford Kentucky? I got you!

 

Hey guys! Today I am excited to share something with you guys that I have kind of been keeping a secret for the last little bit! My husband and I have FINALLY made the jump and started our own HVAC company here in Stanford Kentucky. My hubby has been in HVAC since he was a kid, so heating and air conditioning repair is in his blood. I always knew he would want to take the jump into owning his own business, but it was really hard to take the leap and make that happen. However, here we are! 

If you are in the Central Kentucky area and you need HVAC repair, HVAC maintenance, HVAC installation or even just standard HVAC maintenance, you can get in touch with us anytime! You can find our website here: https://www.sparkshvacky.com/. I would love it if you guys could check our website out and give me some feedback. I am not great at techy stuff, so I have been watching lots of Youtubes to learn how to do this. I would love to hear thoughts from you guys if you don't mind. 

We are currently going to service most of Central Kentucky for HVAC service, including Lexington, Versailles, Nicholasville, Lancaster, Stanford, Danville, Richmond and more.. If any of my followers live in this area, be sure to reach out and I'd love to talk to you about what we have going on! We also are working on building up our Google reviews, so if we have done HVAC work for you in the past (talking to you, family and friends!!!) I'd love if you could give us a review by clicking here: https://g.page/r/CcqT06Fib5D5EBM/review. As always, thanks again to you guys for always being so supportive! 

Family Fun With The Harlem Globetrotters! #globies

 

One of the things I really struggle with now that my kids are getting older is the fact that it's just plain HARD to find stuff for us all to do together. They used to be happy and satisfied with whatever weird or wacky family activity that I had planned for us, but not so much anymore. If I pick a movie to go see, one of them doesn't like that movie. If I want to go for a hike, someone automatically has some kind of injury and they will have to stay home and play video games instead. If I pick a restaurant, mysteriously, one of my kids now hates that restaurant, even if it is a place we have frequented for years and years... Teens!!! 

However, one family activity that I KNOW all of my kids will go to without complaint is a Harlem Globetrotters show!! It's so weird, of all the things that we can all do together with no complaints, this is definitely at the top of our list! We have been attending Harlem Globetrotters shows for years and years, and when we had the chance to visit one a few weeks ago, we were all thrilled! 

It really is a fun activity for the whole family. There's the amazing show of athleticism, the comedy, the music, the lights, the audience interaction, and so much more. Even if sports are not really your thing (guilty, sue me!), there is MORE than enough to keep you entertained at a Harlem Globetrotters show, no matter how old you are! 

Of course, one of the best parts of a Harlem Globetrotters show is after the show, where fans can come down onto the court and take pictures and get autographs from all your favorite Globetrotters stars! The Trotters are out on a WORLD Tour right now, so make sure to check and see when they will be in your city so you and your family can get in on the action!!