Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A Change of Heart Re: Birthday Parties

This past weekend, we had a party for my boys' birthday. The original plan was to celebrate with our great zombie party supplies from Shindigz, and have an awesome birthday party outside at my sister's house. However, as all of my plans normally do, they fell apart. I hate birthdays, seriously. I usually need like months of planning and mom to mom advice to pull them off.

The temperature on Sunday, party day? 94 degrees, baby. Humidity? 100%. What a great outdoor party. Also, our Shindigz order was not here yet, and I really didn't want to go out and buy party supplies when I knew all that cool stuff was coming!

So, what did we do? We had a spur of the moment party at Gattitown, a local pizza buffet/games place. The boys had no idea where we were going. They were so surprised when we got there!  And, even more surprised when their Nanny (really their aunt, my sister) was there too! Still more surprises followed, when there was a cake and gifts too!

So, we had a good time, eating, opening gifts, and then playing all the games. Then, the boys thought it was time to go. Little did they know, we still had one more surprise for them. Instead of coming home, we went back to their Nanny's house, where they opened the door to find a brand new big boy bike (Tater) and a cozy coupe (Bean). They were thrilled! After a couple more hours of playing on their new toys at Nanny's, it was finally time to go.

The boys had a great time and I have to say, I really liked the smaller party vibe. This  year was the first that I have not spent $500 at least on their party(ies). This was the first year that I hadn't provided food, drinks, cake, paid for playing, and gave out gift bags to everyone. Guess how many showed up in the previous years? 30+. And this year? My sister, brother in law, niece and nephew. Wow. This was the first time that I have ever really seen first hand, that people don't give a shit about my kids. I mean, I always kind of had a feeling, but come on...

I know I had a couple of people that simply couldn't be there, and would have been if the situation was different, and I completely understand that. But there are others who simply don't care enough. Which is fine by me, because, honestly, besides my sister, I don't really care that much about any of my family either. I just think that if my parents were alive, they would be so disappointed to see how much my family has fallen apart.

But, really, it's fine.

I will no longer throw big, extravagant birthday parties for my children. Tater actually started crying this year, because he was so happy. The surprises, and being with the family that loves him, was more than enough. And, if I do throw a big, extravagant birthday for my boys, I will know who to invite. Because, some of you, just aren't worth the stamp. If you knew how my little boy cries and cries for the grandparents that he will never know, how he yearns for a real, true family unit, you would be ashamed of yourselves. To not even try to give my kids someone to lean on.

But, seriously, I am done now.

My boys have a mommy and a daddy that love them very much. They have a Nanny that more than makes up for what they lack.

And I am building a new family. My own.

I am raising my boys differently. They will know what family is about.

I will keep them out of the dysfunction.

The drama, the gossip, the drugs, the mess.

They deserve better than that.

So, here's to small birthday parties, and REAL, TRUE, family.

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