Sunday, April 1, 2012

My Kids Are Getting Screwed.



I am so upset that I honestly don't know if I will be able to write this post. 

Today, while we are eating lunch, Tater asks to see a picture of his grandpa that sits up on the shelf in the kitchen. (His dad's dad.) 

I hand it to him. He looks at it quite often, and I really think he thinks it is cool to see the same house we live in now, a long time ago. 

I go to lay Bean down for his nap, and come back in the kitchen.

Tater is sitting there with the picture in his hands, tears rolling down his little cheeks. 

I ask him what's wrong. 

"It's just not fair mommy, it's just not fair".

"Daddy got to meet him and I didn't."

"Why did he want to die instead of wanting to meet me?"

It was the absolute saddest thing I have ever seen.

And he's right. It's not fair.

My kids are getting screwed by not having any grandparents.

Seriously.

I always thought it in the back of my mind, but now I know for sure.

He realizes that he's missing out.

He doesn't know the people that he's missing, but he knows they would have loved him very much.

I just don't know what to do.

There is really nothing I can do..

It is not fair that my kids are missing out.

I never thought that I would be raising my kids this way.

Even when my parents died, I was so devastated and sad that my kids would never get to know them, but I thought that their dad's parents would be a good supplement for them.

Well, their other grandpa died before I got pregnant with Tater, and their other grandma moved 1000+ miles away, and never looked back.

(Seriously, Tater will be six in April, and she's never met him.)

This is definitely NOT what I had planned.

I have thought about doing an "adopt a grandparent" program type thing, but seriously, wouldn't that just be effing them up even more?

To get them attached to some old person that is just going to die and crush their little souls again?

I don't know if that's the right path.

I just wish that they had more extended family. They have my sister, who is like a surrogate mom/grandma to them, but she has her own life and can't be with them as much as they would like.

I just hope that I can get them through this life without having this fuck them up too much..

Only  time will tell, I guess.

2 comments:

  1. If the grandparents were nice people then the kids are probably missing out and it's too bad. But not all grandparents are great. My mom is not the greatest grandmother, she has always been very mean and is full of old anger, hate and bitter. She has her favorites of mine and my siblings kids, those who she favorites were lucky because she is okay to them, but those who are not favorites have suffered a lot at her hands. Right now she can't stand my 4 year old and it's only because I would never leave her alone with her, that she hasn't physically done anything to her. But she has thrown out her cups in the kitchen, toys and anything else she can do to hurt her. She almost never talks to her and my little girls knows grandma does not love her. She has even cried about it.

    As you can see, I have big time issues with my mom. I wish that my kids and nephews all had one of those grandmas you see on tv, the kids that are so good to the kids, that spoil and love them. But she is not, she is a bitch basically.
    So it's not always such a great thing to have a grandma in your life. Your parents were probably different...and if they were you were lucky. I just wanted to share, I know it's not the same situation.

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  2. This is so sad, and hits too close to home. My dad was 47 when I was born, and when I was in elementary school he was in his mid 50's and everyone thought he was my grandpa. I realized early on that he'd be really old at my wedding - at my children's births, etc. I'm 20 now, my dad is 67 and I'm not ready to have kids for another few years at least. I just hope he lives longer than the typical male (75), so that my kids will be old enough to have memories of him before he passes. My boyfriend of 4.5 years' dad has a rare, early onset form of dementia, he's only 58 but he's already "not himself". So even if we had a kid today, he likely wouldn't remember the kids name between visits. Sad.

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